Self Catering Cottage Weekends for Two, What to Check

The first cottage we booked for a weekend away had a photo of a farmhouse kitchen with copper pans on the wall. When we arrived on a Friday night with a bag of groceries, the oven did not work, there was one blunt knife and the nearest shop had closed at five. We ate crisps and cheese on the sofa and laughed about it, eventually.

Since then we have done roughly twenty self catering cottage weekends, from a converted cowshed in the Peak District to a fisherman's cottage on the Norfolk coast. A self catering cottage weekend can be cheaper, calmer and more romantic than a hotel, but only if you check a handful of things before you pay. This is the list we now go through every time, plus the cooking plan that makes two nights feel like a proper break rather than a change of kitchen.

Is a Self Catering Cottage Weekend Actually Cheaper?

Not always, and this is where we disagree with the usual line that cottages beat hotels on price. Many cottages charge a three night minimum on weekends, plus a cleaning fee of 40 to 80 pounds. A cottage at 120 pounds a night can end up costing more than a hotel room at 140 pounds once you add the extra night and the fee.

Those numbers come from our own receipts on a February trip to the Yorkshire Dales, so treat them as a rough guide rather than a rule. The saving is real when you cook. If you plan to eat out every night anyway, a hotel or a pub with rooms usually works out better and spares you the washing up.

Read the Listing Like a Cook

Listing photos show the kitchen at its best angle. What you need is detail in the text. We look for an exact list of appliances, not just "fully equipped kitchen", which can mean anything from a range cooker to a two ring hob and a microwave.

Questions we send the owner before booking

• Is the oven a full size oven, and is it gas, electric or an Aga?
• Are there basics like oil, salt, pepper and washing up liquid, or do we bring them?
• How many sharp knives and decent sized pans are there?
• Is there a fridge freezer or only a small under counter fridge?

Owners who answer quickly and specifically tend to run well kept cottages. A vague reply is useful information too.

Check the Distance to Food Before You Book

Rural cottages are lovely until you realise the nearest supermarket is 25 minutes away and the village shop shuts at 1pm on Saturday. We now drop the postcode into a map and check three things: the nearest supermarket, the village shop's opening hours and whether there is a pub within walking distance for the night we do not want to cook.

If the cottage is remote, we book a supermarket delivery for the hour after we arrive on Friday evening. Several chains deliver to holiday addresses, and owners rarely mind as long as you mention it.

The Two Night Menu That Works in Any Kitchen

A cottage kitchen is an unknown quantity, so we cook food that forgives a bad oven or a missing utensil. We bring a small box from home with olive oil, a good knife wrapped in a tea towel, a pepper grinder, stock cubes and coffee. Everything else we buy locally.

1. Friday dinner: a one pan pasta or a risotto. One pot, twenty minutes, nothing to go wrong after a long drive.
2. Saturday breakfast: eggs from a farm stall if there is one, bread from the local bakery.
3. Saturday dinner: the special meal. A piece of fish from the coast, local sausages or a slow cooked stew left on the hob while we walk.
4. Sunday: a big late brunch that uses up everything, then a pub lunch on the way home if we are still hungry.

That plan has fed us well in kitchens ranging from brand new to firmly stuck in 1987.

Small Things That Decide How Well You Rest

Cooking matters, but so does the rest of the cottage. A lumpy bed or a cold bathroom will cancel out a great dinner. Things we check before paying:

• Bed size. A "double" in an old cottage can be 4 feet wide, which is tight for two adults.
• Heating type. Night storage heaters can leave a cottage cold on a Friday evening if the previous guests turned them off.
• Wood burner fuel. Some owners leave one basket of logs, others charge 8 to 10 pounds a bag.
• Phone signal and wifi, especially if one of us needs to check messages for work.

Our standard two night weekend packing list now includes slippers and a hot water bottle for exactly this reason.

When to Book and How to Pay Less

Late availability is where cottages get good value. Owners would rather fill a gap than leave the property empty, so short notice weekends from January to March and in November often drop by 20 to 30 percent. Some agencies also allow two night stays in the off season even if the listing says three.

Booking directly with the owner, once you have found a cottage on a big platform, can save the service fee, which is often 10 to 15 percent. Ask politely after a first stay rather than before. For the rest of our money rules on short breaks, see how we plan a weekend trip on a fixed budget.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do we have to clean the cottage before leaving?

Usually you strip the beds, empty the bins and leave the kitchen tidy. The cleaning fee covers the rest. Check the house book, because a few owners expect more and keep part of the deposit if it is not done.

Is a cottage a good idea for a first weekend away together?

It can be, as long as you agree in advance who cooks which meal. Splitting the cooking turns it into something you do together rather than a chore one person carries.

What if the kitchen turns out to be unusable?

Photograph the problem and message the owner the same evening. Most will fix it, send someone round or offer a partial refund. Then fall back on the pub.

Our Rule Before We Pay

We book a self catering cottage weekend only when three things are true: we plan to cook at least two meals, the owner has answered our kitchen questions clearly, and there is food within fifteen minutes. If any of those fails, we choose a pub with rooms instead and enjoy not doing the dishes. More short break ideas live in our weekend trips section.